Staying amicable during the Utah divorce process can be challenging, but it is possible. Here are a few tips to help keep things calm and civil throughout the divorce process in Utah:
Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
Effective communication is key to any relationship, and it's especially important during a divorce. Make an effort to communicate clearly and respectfully with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Avoid using accusatory language or getting defensive.
Practice Active Listening
Make sure that you're actively listening to your spouse and trying to understand their perspective. This will help them feel heard and valued, which can go a long way toward maintaining a positive relationship.
Be Willing to Compromise
Divorce negotiations require compromise. Be willing to give a little to get a little, and try to find solutions that work for both of you. Figure out what your partner’s interests and motivations are and use creativity to reach a settlement agreement you can be satisfied with.
Focus on the Big Picture
It's easy to get bogged down in the details of a divorce, but try to keep your eye on the big picture. What's most important is that you both move forward with your lives in a positive way.
Get Legal Advice + Use a Neutral Third-Party Mediator
A neutral third-party mediator can help you navigate the divorce process and keep things amicable. They can help facilitate productive conversations and find solutions that work for both parties. But don’t get caught flat-footed at the mediation table! While mediators are helpful, they cannot give you legal advice. If you haven’t had your case evaluated by a Utah divorce lawyer, you may not understand all the nuances, or have any idea what your realistic exposure may be for alimony or child support. This is not something the mediator can advise you on. Not taking the step of getting a complete legal evaluation before going to mediation can lead to unfair settlements and unreasonable post-divorce obligations that create bigger headaches down the road. It’s one of the biggest mistakes we see people make in the Utah divorce process.
Take Care of Yourself
Divorce is a stressful process, so it's important to take care of yourself. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that you enjoy. Use this opportunity to step outside your comfort zone. Join a Meetup group or book club and make new friends and acquaintances.
Don’t Rush . . . Divorce is a Process
It’s tempting to treat divorce like an old bandage that needs to be quickly ripped off, to avoid feeling the pain of the process. But this is a huge mistake--one that is certain to lead to mistakes and more regret. Having a pre-divorce plan can help you envision and anticipate the process. A good plan with legal guidance can help you understand what your exposure is, and what “fair” looks like for you. This can alleviate the emotions of fear and resistance that are common in divorce.
Remember that staying amicable during a divorce is not always easy, but it is possible. By communicating respectfully, practicing active listening, being willing to compromise, focusing on the big picture, using a neutral third-party Utah mediator, and taking care of yourself, you can help maintain a positive relationship with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.
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Jennifer L. Neeley
Jennifer has helped thousands of people get divorced without fighting in court.
Four Levels of Service
Utah Divorce Coaching & Consulting, LLC
Historic 25th Street
2485 Grant Avenue, Suite 200
Ogden, Utah 84401
Telephone (801) 675-8183